As the recent rather unfortunate incident is still vividly in the minds of our student body, we take this occasion to remind all freshmen, especially male students, that loitering on the University Grand Master’s Privy Nympharium premises is strictly forbidden. Grand Master’s Janissars are instructed to deal summarily with any man found in this out-of-bounds area. As the University statutes clearly say regarding this issue
videant Ianissares ne quid res Universitas detrimenti capiat!
Furthermore, this is particularly important now that Nypharium’s procurement of new young interns for 2022 from all four corners of the world has been completed. We all must let the young anciallae feel safe in their new place of employment. Moreover, we find it most unpleasant to bear bad news to the parents of young lads who have not taken our rules and regulations seriously by mistake or malice. We exhort you all to give heed to this warning and let us all make Wave University a safe place to study and work!
A Pompous Fool
Deputy Grand Bursar